Feeling MacGuyver-ish with diabetes.

I know Mondays have the bad reputation of being, well, Monday, but this one really lived up to it. As with every Monday, I hit the snooze button one too many times and was racing to get ready for work (read: no makeup, finger combing hair, brush teeth, out the door). My alarm goes off at 4:30am, but I snoozed until 5:15. This does not leave me much time to get ready and drive to work. Lucky for me, I make my breakfast and lunch the night before!

In my harriedness, I failed to realize that my insulin pump pod had expired at 5:31am, and that I needed to put a new one on. This discovery was not made until I was down the road from my workplace- too far from home to turn around and get it without being late (I work in a workplace where if you are literally one minute late, it is counted as a 'tardy'). I pulled in the parking lot, hoping that an idea would come to me. I didn't have anyone that could run to my place and grab me a new pod (my friends unfortunately have jobs, too). Well, I know my pump will continue to administer the background insulin for 2 hours post expiration. That will take me until 7:30am. I work until 3pm. Hmm.

Luckily, my breakfast was pretty much carb-free. Two egg whites scrambled with almond milk, spinach and tomatoes. No bg spikes should happen there.

Around 8:30ish, bg was still holding steady in the 90s and feeling really pooped from getting to bed late (I am SUCH a night owl!!), I grabbed a cup of coffee from work. I can't drink black coffee; it needs some sort of milk/cream and fake sugar. Against my better judgement, I added milk to it. I can't possibly describe what a huge mistake this was. Let's list the reasons why this was a bad idea:

1. I have a mild milk allergy and an overall intolerance of all things dairy.

2. Milk makes my blood sugar go up.

I fixed the bg problem by issuing a bolus. The good thing with my pump is I can at least continue to issue boluses even after the pump has expired. I decided to turn my boluses into background insulin by by using the extended/slow release funtion on my pump. I did this until the end of the day. I just had to deal with the hourly alarms that alerted me to my pump expiration, which then turned into every 20 minutes (sorry, co-workers, for being exceptionally beepy today). Oh well, gotta do what you gotta do. I felt kind of MacGuyer-ish, coming up with that solution.

Problem #2 turned out to be a bigger issue. TMI AHEAD. TMI. TMI. Okay, you've been warned.

Well, let me just say it like it is. Milk makes me extremely gassy. Not the quiet, stinky, maybe-they'll-think-it's-someone-else kind. More the extremely loud, non-stinky, can't predict when they are coming or stop kind. I sounded like a fake fart toy. Ever seen the movie Van Wilder, the noises that come out of the dude that drank Colon Blow? Yeah, THOSE kinds of noises. The loud growls coming from my stomach were not mistakeable for hunger growls. They were angry growls. My co-workers were kind enough not to come over and ask me what was going on over in my cube. Probably for the best.

I get home, take a probiotic and some Nexium. Go out to my deck where I was drying some clothes on my flat clothes dryer gadget, only to find that my clothes were gone. Not as in stolen, but as in blew in to my neighbors yards. So I walk out behind the houses in my jammy pants, picking up my jeans and bras strewn across the yards. Awesome.

So what did I learn.

1. Keep a pod backup in your desk. When you use it up (which I had), replace it with another back up.

2. NO MORE MILK IN PUBLIC! NO EXCEPTIONS!

Happy Monday!!!