Day two of new job.
The extreme tiredness that one experiences when your brain is trying to absorb new info for 8 consecutive hours has set in. I feel like I stuffed 20 lbs of potatoes in a 10 lb sack. I don't think I'm eating enough. I'm definitely not going to bed early enough. And the 1 hr commute home everyday (from city rush hour) is killing me. But I like the job and the people.
My diabetes numbers have been GREAT, but at a price. Since I have been trying to keep my diseases a secret for as long as possible, I have been eating very small amounts of carbs in order to avoid having the CGM beep with highs. So breakfast has been 3 egg whites, no carbs. Lunch has been a salad with almost no dressing. And I have carby snacks and juice boxes on hand when I see I'm dropping below 80. I eat only enough to get it in the low 100s. I have not beeped one time in two days. I only check my blood sugar in the bathroom stall. My pump is currently on my stomach; virtually invisible under the right clothing. No one seems to have noticed anything. People talk to me about normal people things. I felt NORMAL for the first time since being diagnosed with diabetes 3 years ago. I'm enjoying this for as long as I can, because I know as soon as people find out I have diabetes, I will start to hear the stories we've all heard- who they know that has diabetes or died from it. I will get 1000 questions on my diet, diabetic symptoms, my family's health history, and get told how I don't "look" like a diabetic (what does one look like, exactly). I will have judgments placed on me when people see me eating sugary things.
I have had diabetes long enough that I had almost forgotten what it felt like to not have it (or to not be treated like I have it). It's 100% non-disease related conversations. It's like old times. It made me sad and made me really miss my "old" life, the one without diabetes. I want to hang on to people not knowing I have it for as long as possible.
It's amazing how eating low carb (or not eating at all) can keep things level for a while. Unfortunately it doesn't work forever:(. But enjoy it while it lasts and good luck with your new job.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I'm hoping the BGs will last for a while. *fingers crossed*
DeleteNever above the low 100s? Man, that's amazing control. Whatever happens, I hope the honeymoon lasts as long as you want.
ReplyDeleteYes, it hasn't gone above 147 in 3 days. I am amazed by the control I am getting just by managing my food.
DeleteI wouldn't know what to do not telling every one in a room I am diabetic. Then going straight into my stand up diabetes routine. Maybe I have completely forgot everything before the age of 13. Hope it all works out for you
ReplyDeleteHi Dave! This is the first job where I've decided to try to keep it a secret and it's more of a challenge than I thought it would be. I know once I decide to share I can't undo it. I have to change my pump site tonight and it should go to my arm next but people will see it. Haven't decided what to do about it yet...
DeleteI choose to not wear my CGM or Pods where people can see them, but that being said, I've had my CGM alarm many times in front of others. I just silence it and I have never once been asked what it was. I went literally MONTHS without telling anyone about my diabetes. Even now, very few people know. I guess I've just never thought hiding it was that hard. The dead give away will be wearing the Pod on your arms. Keep us posted.
ReplyDeleteHow's the new job?
ReplyDelete