Three years ago this week was the week I thought I had stomach flu. I slept in the bathroom for a couple nights with a pillow and a blanket. I woke up every morning exhausted, dragging myself to work, drinking glass after glass of water. I was skinny, REAL skinny; with my size double zero clothes hanging off my frame. I had recently went to a little girls' clothing store and bought girls' size 14 and 16 pants. Innately I knew something wasn't right, but I figured I was just sick. I could never have imagined how much my life was about to change.
By the time I finally went to the doctor, I was unable to climb the stairs to get to my bedroom. I was unable to lift my 28 lb dog. I was unable to get up from a kneeling position on the floor. My muscles were so weak. I was having severe heart palpitations and irregular patterns. But none of these things were the reason I went to the doctor. I didn't want to miss going out to dinner with my friends that night nor the Superbowl the next day, so I was hoping for a quick antibiotic/medication prescription to fix my "flu" problem.
It's still so hard to recall this week, three years ago, without tearing up, knowing now what I didn't know then. That in a few short days, I would be given a devastating diagnosis that would change my story forever.
It's a miracle that I made it through my darkest hour (which turned out to be an entire year), unimaginable that I would be here talking about how good life is, how blessed I am. I've gotten used to insurance battles, adhesive marks I can't get off, eating weird things like sugar packets, and trading in my small, cute clutches for bigger purses to tote around my D-supplies. It's kind of like a diaper bag for diabetes.
I learned that it's easy to have a good attitude when life is good and easy; quite a different challenge with 3 autoimmune diseases and barely enough money to make ends meet. But I did it.
So I won't be writing a dia-versary blog this year on 2/6/13. I don't want to relive the hell I went through that year. I want to stay focused on the good things.
I'll never forget when I was diagnosed with diabetes. It truthfully started back in the late 90's. 1998 or 1999, can't fully remember. I was at the movie theater and kept drinking Frozen Cokes, but so thirsty at the same time. Then the summer of 2000, one hot night I kept refilling my coke, but had to pee about every 15 minutes. I was the coke man. You never saw Preston without a Coca-Cola. I had an ex-girlfriend with diabetes and a college roomate with diabetes, so I knew that thirst + frequent urination were classic symptoms. My best friend at the time just happened to be a type 1 also. (I swear you would think the sh** was contagious) So I drove to my friend's house to check my blood sugar. After about a 45 second countdown, the number read a little over 400. I washed my hands, had them check a small child on the same meter, and rechecked me. Again, over 400. Several doctor visits later, I was given Glucotrol, which just made me low and pissed off. Sometimes I would have normal readings after meals, and considered myself cured. I thought I had type 2 and was in remission. I ignored my diabetes for 2 or 3 years and then one day decided to buy a new meter and test myself. I was somewhere between 200 and 300. Quite a wake-up call to say the least. I was almost out of college at this point and had enough personal responsibility to take charge of my life this time around. They started me on Lantus and eventually Novolog, and a correct diagnosis of type 1. 10 years later, here I am, pumping and trying to do a little better every day. No complications so far.
ReplyDeleteI've been thinking of you, remembering it was this time three years ago. You are the most positive, strong and resilient person I know. Love you, girl! You are such an inspiration!
ReplyDeleteNikki, I'm so glad you've made it this far, and so grateful for the knowledge you pass on to others, and so... Unhappy for the reasons why. Stand proud. You are awesome.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're hear too, Nikki. You add a lot of value to so many people. Too bad it's a shitty thing like diabetes that brought us all together, eh?
ReplyDeleteI always appreciate how you keep your chin up. I know it must be exhausting at times, but it really does inspire us. Maybe you can draw on that the next time you need a little boost.