Forgive me if this entry ends up rambling and nonsensical. My blood sugar is still really high right now and my eyeballs hurt and I feel awful.
The day started off great with some volunteer work. Afterwards, driving home from downtown Minneapolis, I was in a great mood and enjoying the 74-degree-and-sunny day with the car windows down and Louis Armstrong's CD playing loudly. I almost felt like I was in San Diego (sans the palm trees or ocean views). When I got home, I knew I needed to hit the books before my first class tomorrow night, so I changed clothes, grabbed my book bag and headed off to Caribou Coffee. I was there for about an hour and a half when I started feeling...weird. A diabetic knows exactly what I'm talking about, I don't even need to describe it. It's the feeling of your blood sugar screaming up or down quickly. Next thing I knew Sam the CGM was wildly beeeeeeeping at me, almost as if he sensed something was wrong at the same moment I did. Sam said I was 237 with upward trending arrows. No more than 5 minutes prior, the CGM had been reporting a steady stream of 115-120 readings. My meter confirmed I was higher than that...241. How or why, I have no idea (thanks, liver?). I hadn't eaten anything carby before hand, and had eaten a healthy, balanced meal a couple hours prior with no problems.
After bolusing...and bolusing... and a recheck bg of 259, Sam the CGM is still showing up arrows, so I knew I hadn't reached the peak of what it was going to be. I packed up my bag, and headed for the car, sulking, mad, scared, pissed, you name it. Why does diabetes always have to interrupt important tasks? Driving home, my eyeballs were hurting (again, only another diabetic can truly appreciate what it feels like for your eyeballs to ache)and I started crying. When I turned the power on the radio, it picked up in the middle of the song that I had been previously listening to, What A Wonderful World by Louis Armstrong. So I'm listening to this song, with tears streaming from under my sunglasses, driving home.
I'm home now, waiting for my eyes to quit bugging out and the fog to leave my brain so I can finish my reading. It's not exactly light reading and it requires my full attention.
I'll bounce back; I always do. But there's nothing like a random quick high bg to remind you that you cannot control this disease and sucker punch you in the gut.
Must be the week for those freaky highs, I had one on Monday. I'm starting to wonder if it's the change in the weather! I hope you feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteYesterday I had a late evening meeting. An hour into it I just couldn't focus and I was yawning (and subsequently apologizing to my client). I didn't realize I was high until I got home. I felt like calling him and saying sorry, my blood sugar was high but realized that would be even more stupid. I made myself seem like a dumbass and I'm still seething about it now. so y'know what? thanks for posting this. I sure know that useless feeling.
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